Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of "A Man is Known by the Company He Keeps" (without using the actual phrase). (01/31/08)
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TITLE: Elizabeth and Jeremy | Previous Challenge Entry
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02/05/08 -
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So, from that day on she was careful who she made friends with--looking for those who were decent and upstanding. That’s not to say that there were times, as with anyone, that she made mistakes. That's just part of being human.
She was beginning to wonder if a close friend named Jeremy was a true friend or if he was using her. At twenty, she was beautiful, smart but sometimes naïve with the opposite sex.
Jeremy was five years older,attractive and with a promising career at City National Bank. He had always been polite and caring,but lately she sensed a change going on within him.
Months ago when she first began dating him, he just wanted to be with her. But, in the last couple of weeks she caught sight of him talking and laughing with a group of people she never saw before. He would joke with them and sometimes not even notice that she was close and that just seemed odd to her.
The people in the group looked familiar; she had seen them before at City National and often they were quite noisy and careless when opening and closing doors and addressing each other.
Elizabeth’s work as secretary at Center City’s professional building was going well and she wanted to hold on to the job, for she worked hard holding fast to her professional and personal standards.
It was on a blustery March day around noon when Jeremy walked in with two of the friends she saw in the group several months ago. They walked in talking loudly—pushing and shoving each other. As soon as Jeremy spotted Elizabeth he cried, “Hey Liz, how ya doin?”
She was shocked at his behavior, because he always was so quiet and respectful of her job and work area. But today, he was acting very strange.
He broke away from the group and rushed over to her desk and said, “Liz, great to see you! How about joining me and the group for some coffee and doughnuts.?”
“Jeremy, good to see you too but I can’t right now. I’m in the middle of a big report that needs to be done.”
He looked disappointed and a bit perturbed and replied, “Well, if that’s the way you feel, O.K.! Maybe another time…”
“Yes, maybe another time.”
He rejoined the group and left in a rush—talking loudly all the way out the door.
After that, she seldom heard from him but saw him often with the “group.” And, whenever he saw her, he pretended not to see her and she could tell that he was changing—that he was not the kind and considerate man he once was…
That’s when she remembered an old saying, “water seeks its own level.”
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This piece would be a bit more engaging and lively if you used a bit more description -- show us what is happening rather than tell us.
Keep writing!