The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Cute story. I don't know when I've ever been so emotional over a mouse!
Loved the story and just have to feel for Spot and the unsuspecting Junior.
Cute - you got me emotional over a RODENT. That takes skill. ;) Of course, I LOVE the last line.
So cute, and such a good message, too. This was truly a delight. Maybe I'll look at mice differently from now on...or not.
It's true: mice CAN be cute. (As long as there's only ONE!) What an unusual object lesson the pastor had for his congregation that morning!
Okay, so I’ll try to use any other word but cute. This really was a delightful story and the cheesy communion a clever touch.
You have a great ending and an intriguing middle but I thought your introduction was weak. If you want to use the interjection ‘Nooooo’ (which personally I wouldn’t) maybe it could come after your third description paragraph and just before Junior’s response. So I’m being fussy – but this is Masters after all!
Not just cute--but clever and entertaining and with a good message.
This caught me by surprise and I really felt sad for little Spot. Junior's apology letter was my favorite part.
I love your story! Great job making the pastor's fears real to the reader. I really like how the teenager was able to minister to the pastor.
Have you ever read "The Mouse and the Motorcyle" by Beverly Cleary? I've had an affection for fictional mice ever since I read her series about Ralph S. Mouse to my son.

Anyway, this story was so engaging, clever, original and creative. I loved it. I am really, really sad for the pastor. Great message, great ending. Two thumbs up.
What a totally creative story!
You broke our hearts then took us to the cross. Great writing -- wonderful message!
I loved your imagery, tension, conflict, and conceit. This is a beautiful story that could easily become a friend, like my favorite poems.
Aww! This puts a little warm fuzzy "spot" on my wednesday morning. A truly encouraging story. Great job!
This is such a sweet and touching story. I loved it.
They're right--this is cute. BUT that's GOOD!! You had me close to tears over a MOUSE. I really enjoyed this!! :-)
God does provide signs to help us in our fear and struggles. What form they come in depends on what our hearts are open to hear. Great job!
This is just spilling over with creativity from title to end. So well-written, too.
Congratulations on your EC. I love this metaphor, and especially the way you let the reader slowly discover it -- without being preachy. Good job.
My brother-in-law had a brother who was a priest. He was to have a picture taken of himself at his desk in the study. Dressed appropriately, with the Bible open, a cup of juice with cheese and crackers set before him a small mouse appeared on the desk. Smiling he reached out with a piece of cheese for the mouse. As the mouse took the cheese the photographer snapped the shutter. A wonderful picture, reminiscent of your article.
God bless.

Keep writing!