The Official Writing Challenge
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I really like the title, and the fact that you couched what was essentially a salvation tract in a short story. This might be far better received by non-Christians than the usual preachifying. Very good!
What a wonderful plan. You make me want to go create my own plan to present to lost souls.

Fantastic job.
You've brought up a very good point. But I've often wondered if frightening people into heaven is the solution. Your story gave me alot to think about, and HOW to go about it? - as you're right! It's essential that all be warned! Good job! Great thinking!; And also, well written.
Well thought out and presented. I like the way the plan was explained. Everyone can realate. Top job. Welcome to the puppy pen.
Your story presents the salvation message clearly in an interesting way.