The Official Writing Challenge
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LOL... I can tell there is going to be a lot of humor this week... Great job on this one...
Oh the tragedy of it all! You nailed a teen girls' life, the lip gloss, the mall, the embarrassment. I loved it. Great visual with the green gummy bear eyes, nice touch!
Whoo, you brought back a memory of when I fainted while getting my finger poked at school for a Health class in 7th Grade! I just knew it was the end of the world-hehe. :) Great descriptions, and the main characters are spot on teens!
"Wavy brown hair and green gummy-bear eyes stared straight at me as a new head crowded in."

I was hoping that would be Jeremy's head, and it was. Great description!

Cute story. I so remember the drama of those days...

Blessings, Cheri
Good description and a well told embarassment story.
Perfect teen embarrassment story. You REALLY nailed it! Great job.
Great descriptions, right down to the crooked lip liner. Dialog is right on. Wonderful job!
This sounds so authentically teenager! 8th line from the end could use some revision. Overall, a fun read.
Oh, what a sweet, funny story! The setting and situation were "totally teen," and your dialogue was so realistic! I liked the hint of romance, too! Excellent writing! :)
A nice, sweet story from beginning to end. I liked the genuine feeling demonstrated among all the characters. Nice job of writing. Now I'm wondering how this story ends...
What a fun read. Now I'm glad I waited until I was married and 28 yrs old to get my ears pierced:) Angel
You write some of the best dialogue and create the most believable characters. I don't know much about the ear piercing thing, but I enjoyed the story and the excellence in which it was presented. God bless.
Too fun! This was great--you captured the girls and their drama. I loved how Jeremy responded and winked. :D great job!!!
This is very well written. Your dialogue and descripitons are great. I loved it!
I could feel the young girl's pain... er, embarrassment. Great job.
Very well written, and I confess--I fainted when I got my ears pierced, too! Loved this one.
This is one of my favorites--a nice little romance involved in this embarrassment.
Great story - very entertaining and I, too, must confess I fainted when I got my ears pierced as well - but I was 6 and the doctor (who I had a huge crush on - Dr.Kildare style) caught me - aaahh!
It was all over my high school about the girl who fainted after she gave blood — that was me! Except how do you explain to several hundred students that you didn't faint at the sight of the blood or anything as mundane as that, but that you fainted because after having given blood, you ran up three flights of stairs to your locker — and that no one had told you that you weren't supposed to DO that! I had forgotten that teenage embarrassment until I read this very good piece of writing.
Absolutely great story and so very well written. Indeed, the dialogue and the characters are genuinely teen! Oh...and I fainted one day in the clinic after a flu shot when I was in 7th grade.
Ah, teenagers.

You captured the emotions and "drama" of embarrassment well. Great story.