The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
A walk through the life of mother and son. Seems a little choppy, but I don't know a lot about some forms of poetry. The message stands out, however.
I enjoued this very much. That third stanza just shines, that was my favorite. Great message!
I like the transition of the son having to mother his mother. I did have a bit of trouble following along--but poetry isn't my thing.
Here is a tip:
When you use lines that are so short, with an abab rhyming scheme, the rhymes sound very sing-songish. This is great if the poem is geared towards kids, or if you are shooting for humor, but I wasn't sure if that was your goal.
Keep up the good work!