Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Write in the HUMOR genre (04/12/07)
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TITLE: The Comedy of Deep Thinking | Previous Challenge Entry
By TJ Nickel
04/19/07 -
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Christian Humor through Satire and Poetry – (it’ll take a miracle to work)
How can I make you laugh today
Oh, what to do, what can I say?
Christian humor is tough, it’s so easy to miss
Especially satire - how about this…
A Methodist and Presbyterian arrive at heaven’s gate
The gate’s disappeared, a revolving door in its place
Jesus inside it, the two men relieved of their fate
The Methodist approaches with a smile on his face
He pushes the door with all of his might
The door won’t budge, looks to his companion in fright
“Guess free will doesn’t work, you must be right”
Then the door spins ‘round at the speed of light.
With a fierce, powerful thrust he sprawls towards Jesus
The Presbyterian smiles and says with a fuss
“Yes, I knew it, it’s Jesus alone that saves us”
Then he walks into the door and stands as a cuss
Puts his hands in his pockets, gives Jesus a stare
A wink of understanding, and a smile he wears
Waiting for Jesus to solve this affair
…That poor Presbyterian’s still standing there.
Did it work, did you laugh? Did my joke pull you in?
Or did you only smirk? Maybe you’re Presbyterian?
This Humor Challenge is a tough thing to win
Without taking some shots at Christian kin
What does it mean to be a Bride to Christ
And since He’s Triune, are we now married thrice?
Women can relish in this metaphor
But to men, it’s a mystery, or worse, a horror.
You see them there Sundays, all clamped up inside
As the worship song leads them to say they’re a bride
Mumbling the lyrics with faces downtrodden
Like men afraid of mountains who are also Coloradan
They get all confused, knowing not what to do
Other than pray for a sermon on 1 Timothy 2.
Red alert, red alert, I’ve broken the rules
Put too much thought in, and you lose all the jewels
Thinkers crush laughter they’re certain to say
I say the more thought the better, if done the right way
The rules of a genre are there to keep score
But I’m on a roll, ‘bout to break a few more
The Present turned Past as soon as it came
Please read along in this rhyme of a game
Read it real fast the first time through
Let the words make you chuckle, you can always review
If you get it you’ll see who the joke’s really on
Who’s the real King, and who is the pawn
The Present turned Past as soon as it came
The Future turned Present in a way just the same
Father Time is triune, yes, all three in one
Past, Present, and Future together they run
Every moment the Present, let’s call it I Am
Can never be caught, the whole thing’s a scam
The future replaces it soon as it’s here
The whole thing runs backwards if we think of it clear
Past, to Present, to Future is wrong
It’s been Present turns Future to Past all along
But if Present is turning it never arrives
Even though we live in it for all of our lives
They came right along and they sold us a story
Wrapped it all up in idolatrous glory
Telling us Christians we don’t understand time
Science laughing at us with a deafening chime
Father Time as they sold him is nonsense and wrong
It’s been them, not us, selling myths all along.
That’s all the rhymes from this seat in the pew
Thank you for reading, whether Gentile or Jew
If, by chance, my words caught you ail
Please forgive this Presbyterian male
Who in an attempt at satire got wild and bold
And does think the earth’s a few billion years old
You’ve been a great audience; simply the best
My work here is done, good night and God Bless
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