The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
01/11/07
Cooking was a sidedish here, with a rather unique story. However, with another topic and editing of grammar and spelling - this would be a great "moral of the story" type entry.
01/11/07
Great title and worthwhile lesson.

The maid's line "Quick, quick, arise and grab!" seems to place this story in a distant era--but there aren't a lot of details to give your reader an accurate setting.

I hope Sam's mother heeds the lesson!
A very nice lesson here. It's weak on the topic, and a little choppy. Maybe more "show don't tell" would help some. Some great lines, though- I especially like: For people who consider the result and not the pain involved in the process, what a good teacher experience is! and the last paragraph really spoke to me. So many times I've mistaken insistance for persistanc myself! Thanks for writing this!
I liked the voice telling the story. it was different and like Jan commented, from another era or perhaps another culture. It was odd to read about a "maid" in this day and time, unless the mother was wealthy. Maybe the cukture or the time the story takes place could be added in somewhere or expanded on to help the reader. I do love the voice though!