Food and Fur for Free | Previous Challenge Entry

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TITLE: Food and Fur for Free | Previous Challenge Entry
By Betty Castleberry
12/01/06
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The Maple Street Good News Church Bulletin, December 3:
From the Pastor’s Desk:

Thank you for choosing me as your pastor. I am looking forward to getting to know each of you.

Caroline and I have just moved into the parsonage, and will be at home this week. We are anxious to receive visitors, and would love to have you stop by.

The Maple Street Good News Church Bulletin
From the Pastor’s Desk, December 10:

I would like to thank everyone for visiting this week. Caroline and I are humbled by the generosity of the congregation. We are particularly grateful for the five pot roasts, three stewed chickens, four apple pies, tater tot casserole, and turkey you all so graciously gave to us. We are exhausted from our move and did not have the energy to cook. We’re wondering if anyone has a little extra room in their freezer?

We’re also curious as to who left the puppy on the door step. While the puppy is very cute, if this was a mistake, we would be happy to return it. I understand how much money the church spent on carpet for the parsonage.

The Maple Street Good News Church Bulletin
From the Pastor’s Desk, December 17

Apparently, there are some very thoughtful people in our church. I was most impressed with the carolers who came to our house, and have never known musicians to accompany carolers before. I have never heard “Silent Night” played on the bagpipes. I hope you forgave the rude neighbor who threw things at you. I wish we could have offered hot chocolate and cookies, but hope everyone understands that we don’t believe in being wasteful. Since Caroline doesn’t bake, she was most happy to warm up some beef roast and tater tot casserole.

There is one thing I would like to bring to the congregation’s attention. Another puppy appeared on our doorstep. I am quite sure it didn’t just wander there, because it was wearing a big red bow on its neck, and a gift tag that read, “To The Nettles.” This puppy is undoubtedly a sibling to the first one we found on the doorstep. I would like to ask who the owners of a recently pregnant dog might be. I don’t want to appear unappreciative, but feel it might be appropriate to counsel with them. Caroline and I really do like puppies, but do not like getting up to put them out at two in the morning. And four. And six.

Never having owned puppies before, I was quite shocked to learn such tiny puppies could drag a heavy turkey carcass out of the trash and wedge it underneath my favorite recliner. I still probably wouldn’t know they could do such a thing if I hadn’t noticed a peculiar odor coming from under my chair.

The Maple Street Good News Church Bulletin
From the Pastor’s Desk, December 24

What an unforgettable week we have had. Since mentioning Caroline doesn’t bake, a parade of fruit cakes have appeared at our house. One was quite extraordinary. Caroline was positively giddy while munching on it, then promptly fell asleep.

We were discussing the candlelight service when someone knocked on our door. It was the florist delivering a huge Christmas arrangement from the church. We had no sooner gotten it inside than we heard another knock. When we opened the door, we didn’t see anyone. However, there was a note instructing us to carefully examine the floral arrangement. We did, and found a tiny kitten nestled in among the red carnations. The attached note said since the jury was still out on the puppies, perhaps we would like a kitten better.

Although kittens seem to instinctively understand that carpet is expensive, they don’t have the same instinct about drapes. The parsonage’s drapes are now permanently air conditioned.

We would like to invite the congregation over for snacks after the candlelight service tonight. Whoever has the chickens in their freezer, would you kindly bring them with you?

We also decided to have door prizes, thinking it might be a good way to return some of the love and generosity we have been shown since coming here. In case you are blessed enough to win one of the three door prizes, I suggest you bring along a pet carrier.

We are looking forward to tonight, and remember, Jesus is the reason for the season.

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