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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Vision (08/03/06)
From the time she was a young child Mary embraced the teachings of God. She loved to hear her father tell the stories about the prophets of long ago. She felt as if her heart would burst with love for her God when she heard the Psalms.

Mary also loved Joseph, whom she was betrothed to, anticipating the day when they would marry. Plans were underway for the wedding celebration.

“Mother, this silk cloth will make the perfect gown for my wedding, don’t you think?” Mary draped the cloth around her as she danced around the room; with her eyes closed she captured the feeling of dancing with Joseph at their wedding feast. God knew Mary’s heart and He knew the plans He had for her.

Mary was out walking, absorbed in her own thoughts. I wonder how many children Joseph and we will have? “I hope to give him many sons.” she said aloud to the wind, hoping it would fall on God’s ears.

A movement in the wind startled Mary. Suddenly an angel appeared. Mary knelt in fear, yet in awe of this heavenly being. She had heard of angels appearing, but never to her. She trembled as the angel spoke to her.

“Mary, you are blessed, do not fear. You are with child.”

“That can’t be, I have never known a man.” Mary crouched lower to the ground.

“You will give birth to this child. His name shall be Emanuel, which means God with us. You will forevermore be called Blessed among women.” The angel gently placed a hand on Mary’s head as if to bring comfort to her, and then as quickly as the angel had appeared, he vanished.

Was it just a vision, or my imagination? She placed her hand on her stomach and felt a peace deep within. At that moment she knew it was really an angel, and what the angel told her was true. She did not know how to explain this to Joseph, yet if this is what her God required of her, then she was willing.

After Mary shared the news of the visitation with Joseph he withdrew to think.

He worked the wood with his hands, while his mind was trying to come to terms with the fact his beloved Mary was with child. He worked out the day in tremendous confusion. His shoulders slumped, his slow methodical movements revealed his state of mind. That night he made a decision while lying on his bed. He would secretly put her away, for he could not bear to have a public example made of his Mary.

After finally falling into a fitful sleep, an angel came to Joseph in a dream. “Joseph, you have no need to fear, take Mary for your wife. The child in her womb is of the Holy Spirit, His name will be Jesus, and he will save man from their sins.”

No longer able to sleep, he pondered his dream. This was much the same thing the angel told Mary, was this dream meant to show me she was telling me the truth? He lifted his eyes toward heaven, and God knew Joseph would do as He had instructed.

Joseph followed the angel’s instructions and took Mary as his wife. When her time came they were in the little obscure village of Bethlehem. The town’s name literally means, “house of bread.” It was in this town that Jesus, the Bread of life, came into this world. In obedience Mary and Joseph named the child, Jesus.

Because Mary and Joseph followed God’s vision for their life we have a Savior, Jesus Christ. God also fulfilled their desires and vision; He gave them many children together. Joseph continued as a carpenter and Mary is still called, “Blessed among women.”

Based on the first chapter of Matthew and the first chapter of Luke, NKJV
Interpretation is mine.
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
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This article has been read 1543 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Sue Dent
08/10/06
Nice retelling. You made it so personal. I liked the way you had Joseph react, showing his true love for Mary! Very smooth reading!!!!
Dr. Sharon Schuetz
08/10/06
Nice job. You captured the emotions of both Joseph and Mary.
Jan Ackerson
08/10/06
I really like the first half of this, from Mary's POV. In the second half, you shift to Joseph's POV (maybe a few asterisks to signal your readers?), and then to a devotional. But the first half--it's light, it's lovely, and it brings us into Mary's world. Very, very nice.
Kaylee Blake 
08/11/06
I agree with Jan; some space between Mary and Joseph and the devotional would have made it clearer to the reader. But I really enjoyed what you wrote. Although, it makes me curious, did Mary actually have the grand wedding she envisioned after learning she was pregnant? Maybe you could do a sequel!
Amy Michelle Wiley 
08/11/06
I like it! Good job at getting us inside the character's heads. :-)
Brenda Craig
08/11/06
Such a wonderful view into the hearts and emotions of Mary and Joseph. You expressed such tenderness of heart, obediance and vision.You made them real with everyday hopes and dreams.

Without vision we perish and without obedience to vision we perish. Wonderful story!
Gary Sims
08/12/06
I'm not sure I like the ending. To continue with Jan's comments you shift in the final paragraph to the store teller's POV and tell us what we are supposed to think. I think leading us through the story and then letting us draw our own conclusions would provide a stronger ending. Perhaps simply cutting the final paragraph would achieve this.
Jen Davis
08/14/06
A lovely retelling. I liked how you showed both Mary's and Joseph's POV and liked the sentence you used to indicate the change of perspective: "After Mary..." But I agree that using asterisks can help the reader make the transition, especially in the limited space of 750 words.
Trina Courtenay
08/14/06
This was simply lovely! A nice retelling.

One small typo: I wonder how many children Joseph and we will have?

Blessings as you write for the glory of HIM!
Venice Kichura
08/14/06
Wow, this was a beauttiful reaccount of Mary, Rita! I loved it!
Caitlynn Lowe
08/14/06
A nice retelling.
Allison Egley 
08/14/06
I really enjoyed this retelling. As others have said, it seems very real, and I think you really captured Joseph's emotions well. Great job.
Jan Ross
08/14/06
Great job, Rita! Like others, my favorite part was the beginning, bringing a real personality to Mary and her expectation of the day she would become a wife -- every young woman's dream! Every time a writer helps us develop these precious personalities -- the ones into whose keeping the Father entrusted His Son -- we gain a greater understanding of His humanity wrapped around His divinity! Well done, my friend! :)
Kimberly Mitchell
08/14/06
One of the best I've read this week.
Shari Armstrong 
08/15/06
Very nicely done - I love Bibical retellings :)
Virginia Gorg
08/15/06
Very nice retelling of a familiar and loved story. The POV switch was almost too quick, but overall did not detract from the story. Nice!
Joanne Malley
08/15/06
Very nicely done, Rita! I like when writers take a factual bible story and create it into a personal one, where we can feel the emotions and ponderings of the characters. :)
Joanne Sher 
08/15/06
Wonderful retelling, Rita! I agree that maybe dropping the last paragraph would be more effective. I loved the second to last paragraph!
Mitzi Busby
08/21/06
Rita,
This retelling was well done. It is always a joy to read your work. Blessings.