The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1026 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
03/15/12
I felt like I was at your side and sharing in your experiences. We all need to take life a little less seriously in our daily happenings and leave room for a serious look at our relationship with the Master!
03/15/12
This was a very interesting story. We often take forgranted, the adeptness of the EMT's. This was an eye-opener to the dedication which it takes. Good job.
03/16/12
God Bless you and all EMT. They are truly "Angels" on earth. I loved the pulse of this story, it was sincere and spoke volumes. Thank you.

God Bless~
Oh this is a wonderful story. I burst out laughing at the mental picture of the mom stepping on a soft spot and seeing mice scurry out. I could easily picture her horrified thoughts of MY Baby can't live in a place like that. It's funny how Moms can be fussy and worry no matter how old the child is.

The only red ink I might offer is you seemed to jump a little abruptly from the state of the house to the classes teaching the future EMT-As. Not sure, how best to fix it. Perhaps only focus on one part or the other. For example gone into more details about living in the house and the challenges it brought. OR delve into more about the actual training.

Though in the end, you tied the two up quite nicely. I love a good laugh and am impressed at your fortitude to live in places that might not be entirely comfortable but you are secure in the knowledge that it is where God intended you to be. This is an important message, especially with the way the world is now. We've grown quite content with our creature comforts and forget the reason God has us in a certain place.
I remember walking into my daughter's first apartment, and being HORRIFIED! But she loved it and was very happy there. Great story of a very successful summer - I enjoyed this a lot.
03/20/12
You're a storyteller, par excellence! Just a bit of red ink with "wiggle room" and "weighed in."

Your life's experiences and writing talent combine to make great entries everytime.
Poor Mary and poor MC. The story was authentic and had me involved all the way through. It was a good telling. I do wonder though, is there too much focus on the house condition? Less on that would have given more opportunity to describe the Mary incident. I had to read that a few times to get the action straight in my head. That might just be me, though. Technical question--when lifting a person without a board wouldn't the EMTS be in eye contact with one another? Just curious. I did like the story. Great achievement.
03/21/12
Great details - and I was engaged. Enjoyed your voice, and the story.
03/21/12
I don't often review Intermediate because I am in the Beginners and sometimes don't feel I'm qualified. This story was fantastic! And the fact that it was true made it all the better. Your descriptions of things seem to come natural and that makes for even better reading. Nicely-written story.
Congratulations for placing 6th in level two!