Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Minute(s) (as in time) (03/03/11)
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TITLE: From the gutter to glory | Previous Challenge Entry
By Norma-Anne Hough
03/10/11 -
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The pain was unbearable, yet he knew it was just punishment.
From an early age he had been a rebel. Born to a single woman, life was not easy
and his rebellious ways didn’t help. Eventually he had run away from home and lived by his wits on the streets.
He became an expert pickpocket. Unfortunately his luck ran out and now he was paying the
ultimate penalty. Death on the cross. His partner in crime was on the other cross cursing and swearing at everyone. He turned his attention to the man in the middle. So this was “the so called Messiah”. What a mess He was in, yet He didn’t say a word. Blood poured from His wounds.
“Hey, why don’t you call on your angels to rescue us?” the second thief yelled.
“If You are the Son of God, where is He now?”
The man remained silent.
As Abdul was about to join in, something about the man silenced him. He knew instantly that this was the Messiah. Jesus turned to glance at him; the look in His eyes was the gentlest look Abdul had ever seen. He felt something rise within him. Was it perhaps a feeling of shame? Guilt? All totally strange to him. What was happening here?
“Be quiet” he shouted to the other thief. “We deserve our punishment, but this man
doesn’t.”
Looking at Jesus, Abdul asked Him to remember him in paradise.
Smiling through His pain, Jesus assured Abdul that he too would join him later in paradise.
Suddenly there was a huge sound of thunder, the heavens seem to open and Abduls spirit departed this earth.
Minutes later Jesus breathed His last and willingly gave up His spirit.
That was all it had taken, a matter of minutes to choose between life and death.
Abdul had chosen wisely, may we do the same.
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I would have developed the story a bit more... You had some extra words to play with. Perhaps take us back to him actually getting caught, or talk about more about his thoughts directly before and after he talked to Jesus.
I'd love to see a longer version of this. Good writing!