The Official Writing Challenge
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A harrowing read. You've written the personal struggle well.
08/07/06
"Yes, my child, you have sinned. But I came, and died that you may live without sin. And now that you know this, you will go on to do a far greater things than you had ever dreamt. You, my beloved son, will do my work, you will bring life to those who have but a thread of hope to live. And you will do it well."

Wonderful, inspiration at its best!!
08/07/06
This is fine as it is, but in my opinion, it would be stronger without that epiphany, the neat wrap-up at the end. As I read it, the incongruity of his job, the horrible way he'd sold his soul, really came through, without any need to drive the point home. Better, I think, to let the reader discover it for herself. But this is just opinion - see what others say. A good job.
08/07/06
Very vivid and harrowing - excellent writing! This really made me think. I feel that the "epiphany" was a bit too clean cut, but otherwise, this was wonderful!
08/09/06
very moving - well written, good flow. I like how you took the doctor from life giver to life taker, and then crying for help. I think the last paragraph could have been left out. I like the way you captured the essence of his thoughts.