Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Great (07/06/06)
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TITLE: A Long Way | Previous Challenge Entry
By Tanya Dennis
07/13/06 -
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“Today’s reading will be from Luke, chapter two. ‘And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David): To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child. And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered. And she brought forth her firstborn son …’”
I turned off my ears. I couldn’t listen anymore.
“Great with child.” How cruel! Does God not see the pain I’m going through? Why would He force me to listen to this? Great with child. As opposed to me – who is not great. As if those of us who are unable to conceive are somehow of a lesser breed. My value is nothing without children.
And what about His promises? Aren’t we supposed to get the desires of our heart when we obey Him? What about that? I have been good! I have followed all the rules and even the suggestions, yet here I am, the desires of my heart forbidden. A two-dollar harlot can get pregnant with no problems. Why is this so hard for me? Where is my reward? It’s just not fair.
*****
Sitting in Dr. Adams’ office felt different this time. The hopefulness was gone. Instead I was filled with dread. “Please let the test be wrong,” I muttered under my breath as the nurse took my blood pressure. She heard me.
“You can do something about it, you know. It is still early.”
“What?” I didn’t really want to talk about it, especially with this fresh young thing who couldn’t even pronounce my name correctly.
“Talk to Dr. Adams. She’ll tell you what to do.”
“Oh. Well, that’s not an option for me.” Inside I hoped she would leave quickly. After marking my chart, she did.
My visits to this office were pretty regular. We were all on a first-name basis. I knew about every nurse’s family; had seen pictures of weddings and new babies and grand-babies. They all knew my story. We had been through a lot together. They held my hands. We cried together. We laughed together. Only after years of invasive tests and treatments does one become this close with her obstetrician and staff. And here I was yet again … waiting.
I had learned much through this process. Yes, about endometriosis, infertility and all types of medical tests and procedures. But more importantly, I learned about myself and about God. It took a lot for Him to get my attention. Now I understood: it is HE who determines my path and the nature of my blessings. He never lies. Even if I don’t understand, He is always righteous. Great is His faithfulness.
“Hello, there! How are you today?” Dr. Adams was always so brilliant in presence. She could fill a room with her optimism.
“Hi.” I wasn’t sure where to start.
“So, what’s new? How are things?”
“I took a test this morning. Any chance those things are ever wrong?”
“It was positive?”
“Yeah, but I’m not ready for …”
“Congratulations, girl!” she interrupted me. “What do you mean you’re not ready? How old is Isabel, now? You know I’m ready for another one!” Her excitement was undeniable.
I smiled. “Isabel is just eight-months. We were hoping to space them out a little …”
“Well, honey, I don’t think so. Those tests are 99% accurate, and when they are wrong it’s a false negative. You, darlin’, are great with child.” She laughed. “You are great with children!”
“God is faithful, isn’t He?” The weight was lifted as my perspective was corrected. I felt like a spoiled child. I had to rejoice at God’s gentle reprimand through this amazing woman. “He has answered with thunder.”
“Yes, He has. So, then, I’ll see you next month. Congratulations, Tanya! We’ve come a long way.”
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