The Official Writing Challenge
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Great characterization. You kept me hanging on the edge.
Unreal! This story is a masterpiece. I have nothing but good words about this one. Keep writing! I want to read more of this story.
03/15/06
Very entertaining! Two small word choices: "stealthy" and "courier" instead of "stealth" and "currier." This is a top-notch allegory.
Just wanted to let you know that i've read all the entries in the Intermediate and I think you have the best. Good luck!
03/16/06
Well-written story....the twist on the end with the "traitor" being found out was suspenseful....
03/16/06
Eerch! Chilling ending. Made my heart remember the martyrs under the throne...
Thank you
03/16/06
Wow! You've captured fear and intesity well! And yes - conveyed the many hundreds of years of martyrs for God. Since you had more word count available you might want to work in some descriptions of the cell, and other surroundings, to set the scene to go along with that great dialogue! Well done!
03/16/06
This is very good! My only quibble was that I was confused who Salas was when he appeared in the story. It clears up after a while, but it broke the flow of my reading. Nicely done!
03/17/06
A facinating story, it threw me a bit when it suddenly was in first person, but a well done tale.
03/17/06
Wow! A fascinating little story, I was really interested in what would happen next. :)
03/18/06
Interesting. What jumped out at me was this statement: “But you are their leader, they need you.”
“They follow God. I did only what was necessary for my colleagues to survive.” Those who persevere to the end, no matter what happens, are those who follow God first, rather than any human leader, no matter how wonderful he might be. Nicely done.
03/19/06
The short, terse back and forth dialogue was effective.

Great writing. Well done.