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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: End (02/13/06)
Discouraged, feeling tendrils twining, pinching off, choking and starving life and love, I
  hear separation return as requested.
Even though I know You are there, though I glimpse you through the tangled choices and
  catch whispering echoes of peace,
Life wanes, gasping, rising, stumbling, climbing, slipping, clinging, straining;
  my footprints deepen along this trodden path.
I try, and that is the failure! For the Truth can not be tried or considered or changed.
  Truth simply is, like a gleaming, untarnishable silver bridge.
Voraciously You hunt my mind, immutable, charging fore,
  steel hand grips steel sabre, and deep escapeless
Eyes pierce clear and warm, assured of victory, dangerous pools of love
  drawing me back to my heart and home.
Running to You, still running away, why must I continue splashing, spinning
  as if these treasures in my hand offer
Anything but acquiescence to weakness and pain, wasting grace?
  I see, I see! I am distracted and deceived.
Nothing but poisoned perceptions and heartbreak without You, my Lord, my Lord;
  cheap imitations, streets of brass, plastic seas... but
"Chosen" is Your word. Yes, without a choice I am loved. I can breath! Joy
  casts off the covering and leaps! For my
End is Yours to write, and it is already written! I will live with you, my King, forever!
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This article has been read 1257 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Jan Ackerson
02/21/06
Very lovely use of alliteration here. The last three lines, from "Joy..." to "...already written" are so wonderful.
Anita Neuman
02/23/06
Emotive, gripping, real, challenging....simply fabulous!
Linda Watson Owen
02/24/06
Yes, beautifully lyrical and inspiring in its personal, plaintive style. You allow the reader to step into the heart of this speaker and to experience this lovely affirmation of God's love.
Tiffanie Chezum
02/25/06
Very nice. Good job.
Cheryl Harrison
02/25/06
A dance all the way to the end. Good job!
Debbie Sickler
02/25/06
This reminded me of the classics I studied in my Prose and Poetry class in High School. (That's supposed to be a compliment.)

One small thing, that I'm not sure of, but want to point out anyway:
"For the Truth can not be tried or considered or changed." You used the word 'or' when I think it should have been 'nor' because of the negative 'can not'. I think the rule is 'neither=nor, either=or', but it's been along time since English class. ;)

Regardless, very beautiful use of language and I loved the ending lines.
Pat Guy
02/25/06
I had read this before and meant to get back to it because personally I loved this. I loved the deep words, the deep struggle with 'poisoned persecptions' (how true!) and the clear Love beyond our control. A really great job!
Suzanne R
02/27/06
I loved the imagery here, as well as the flow and the content. It's an excellent piece of work.