The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/02/13
Thank you so much for this entry. I have wanted to get into the habit of reading others' entries (especially those in higher levels than what I'm in) to strengthen my craft. But reading your piece did one better than that: freshened my mind for how skillful writing can ignite a fire within us to rid ourselves of sin. I feel excited about your writing and the way you present it. It is well edited, and catches a reader's mind immediately because of your word choice and pace. I especially like that you did not use scripture throughout, but left it for the end. I'm always looking for ways to be accessible to the unbeliever, and I think you have managed that here. Thanks for sharing.
02/02/13
Interesting and thoughtful piece. Lots of layers in this entry with thought provoking moments throughout. Nicely done, clearly defining our struggles in everyday life and the need for God to help us through it all.

Wonderful job here.

God bless~
You make some great points in this piece. I liked that the examples are ones anyone can relate to.

Some of your transitions felt a bit abrupt. It may be just me, but I felt a bit lost over the sudden switch to pushing the end button on the phone. Sometimes these things can be clear in the writer's mind, but not as clear for the reader. Having a good proofreader can help with that.

I could relate to your MC. I think probably most people have fallen prey to gossip--in one way or another. You did a nice job of covering the topic while still delivering a great message.
Congratulations on ranking 10th in level two!