The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
I so totally enjoyed this story. You introduced the conflict right away and it drew me right into the story.

I noticed some minor punctuation errors like wait for you and them. You had a comma after you and you would only do that if you had a list like wait for Jim, Tim, and you. I also noticed you used an em dash to start a sentence. Most guides suggest not to do that since an em dash represents an abrupt interruption in speak. A challenge buddy might help you catch things little things like that.

I think you have an awesome sense of humor. It's subtle but perfect for your characters. I also liked the ending. I'm always delighted when I am surprised. I think some may have seen it coming because so many people can relate to that experience. It made me stop and think about all the times we never know that an irritant saved my life. You covered the topic while still delivering a powerful message. It was a delight to read.
You have managed to not only write a clever piece, but deliver a prolific message with levity while bringing home a profound commentary.

Nicely done. God bless~
Congratulations on ranking 6th in level one!