The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 505 times
Member Comments
Thanks you for such a tender faith filled story. It touched my heart. God bless.
Amen. Both together with our Father in heaven for all eternity.

Thank you for sharing this touching story of love & faith...the glue of everyone's soul.

God Bless~
Very poignant story.
This is a sweet story of a couple in love.

Your story would have come alive with more showing and less telling. Instead of "Sheila began to cry", you could say, "Tears welled in Sheila's eyes. It was as if a dagger had been pierced through her heart." SHOW us the emotion she is feeling at that moment. Let us see the tears flowing down her cheeks and feel the pain she is suffering.

You used a few exclamation points in the beginning. Using exclamation points when someone isn't actually yelling can make a writer appear more amateur than they are. Let your words speak the excitement you are trying to convey with the exclamation points.

Your story had a lovely message of trusting God and surrendering to Him, even in the midst of great suffering. Thank you for sharing it. :)
This is a beautiful story about love and faith and hope. It warmed my heart. I've often heard about couples who have been together for such a long time, often when one dies the other follows within a year or so. I can't help but wonder if her heart problems were more along the line of a broken heart. Though you did say she still lived with gusto, confident that she would see him again in heaven.

My only suggestion might be to start with more of an attention grabber. About midway you have a like that says That is until one hot day in August. You might want to rephrase it a bit and have it be your opener. Something like Suddenly one hot August Day, Sheila's line of thinking changed abruptly. Then go into the details about Sheila and her husband.

Overall, I think you did a nice job of capturing a beautiful love story. It seems those stories are becoming less common with each passing year. I'm glad you wrote this story because it is full of wise advise and will inspire people to work for such a relationship.