The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Wow, :)...this is packed with great messages. I like your analogy of the runner, running a race, we're all in, along with needing to shed our weights of being held back! Very creative.
You did a nice job bringing in the scripture and telling a story to make your point.
Very strong in imagery!

Be careful to use consistent tenses--and for the sake of your readers' eyes, an extra blank space between paragraphs, please?

I look forward to reading more from you in future challenges; you have a unique voice.
This story perfectly and vividly portrays what Scripture says in Hebrews 12:1, ". . . let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us." Very well-written and challenging! Love it!
Interesting, but needs a lot of work to make it an article. I can see using this type of punctuation(or lack thereof) if it was given as an interpretation of let's say a prophetic message in tongues. But as written as an article covering the subject "wow" it doesn't work.