The Official Writing Challenge
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This is awesomely creative! Love the title, the playful language and tone throughout, and the uniqueness.

It's breaking my heart that this is perhaps weak on topic, because it really stands out, otherwise.

Suggestion--shorter paragraphs. Second suggestion--more, more, more of this type of writing!
I loved it. It reads like a report and your subtle juxtaposition of biology and mechanics seemed natural.

I'm not sure if it fits the topic, but that would be up to the judges. It would be fascinating to read a story about Justin.
Due to the longer than long paragraphs, I almost skipped this Masterpiece of Uniqueness and fun. Very creative, and although lacking could assume that the whole scenario was "eekish", right? Want to read more of this writer's great creativity. Something definitely fascinating about this "State of the Art Craft..."(*.*)!
This is fantastic. There were so many tongue-in-cheek statements that made me laugh out loud. I really enjoyed this one of a kind story.
Ultra creative. Lost me in a few parts, but I think breaking up the paragraphs a bit for readability would help that. Love, love, love the ending.
Awesome! I don't think I've ever seen anything quite like it. Great creativity.

I had to chuckle at the Modesto reference. Sounds like we may be from the same general neck of the woods.