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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Empty Nester/Retirement (from work) (09/10/09)
The day before my 30th birthday, a friend asked me this question, “So, how old will you be tomorrow?” I stopped what I was doing and stared at my friend. I didn’t know what to say. My friend thought I was trying to act cute. But I wasn’t. My mind went completely blank. I didn’t really know how old I was and how old I was going to be. Was it a case of senility? No, I was too young to be senile. Was I bad at Math? Impossible! Math is my favorite subject. Then, why couldn’t I answer that simple question?

The answer to that question goes deeper than just a case of poor memory; and definitely deeper than just missing my Mathematics lessons (didn’t I tell you Math was my favorite subject?). It goes way, way deeper. It goes deep into my fear of becoming old, my fear of reaching the age of retirement.

We live in a society where the value of a person is associated with the things that he or she has already accomplished. We are a bunch of DO-ers. If you are not doing anything, then you are nothing. So when we reach the age of retirement, it means that we have to stop DO-ing. We become nothing, a nobody.

This kind of thinking has plagued me ever since I reached the age of 25. I subconsciously stopped being excited about my birthdays because I know that celebrating another birthday would only bring me closer to one of the things that I really dreaded. When someone asks me my age, I would literally have to stop and count. Sometimes I would quickly say “25” with conviction. It seemed like I stopped counting at 25.

I was afraid of getting old partly because of the horrible stories that I’ve heard about people who’ve already reached the age of retirement. I’ve heard of people who have toiled all their life only to lose it all in the end. There were those whose children have left them so they are all alone. They idly spend their time either watching television or doing nothing at all.

The reason why I am afraid of getting old goes beyond these stories. It stems from something which we are all familiar with, something which we call doubt. Doubt is telling God that He is a liar. It is telling Him that He will not do what He says He will do. Because of my doubt, I try so hard to accomplish many things now so I will have something to fall back on when I am old. I feel that I am nothing if I don’t accomplish anything. I often hear myself saying, “I’m already 30 but I haven’t done much yet.”

Just recently, God reminded me that my value is not equated with the things that I do. I am valuable just because I am His. So even if I don’t do anything, I am still precious in His sight. The Bible tells us that God has numbered our days; He knows our past, present and definitely our future. So we don’t have to worry. What good will it do for me? It won’t make me any younger. I am secure in the promise that God is “able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think”. (Ephesians 3: 20, NASB). His love for me overcomes all my fears and gives me much hope.

Now, I am not afraid of getting old. I know that God will take care of me so I don’t have to be afraid. I just have to be faithful in whatever He has entrusted me now. I know that there’s no need to worry because He will not abandon me even when I am already old and “useless”.

Well, going back to my story, I finally answered my friend’s question. I just tried to remember the year I was born and counted all the way up to 2009. Yes, I am now 30 years old. Sometimes I feel that I am still young; sometimes I feel that I am already old. But it doesn’t matter now. I am not afraid of getting old anymore. I will enjoy every single minute of my life. Why worry when life still has so much that it wants me to see.
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Member Comments
Member
Date
c clemons
09/17/09
My comments for the article would be that it was well written. The content on the other hand was truly a sad commentary of the main character not having a clue about his/her purpose on this earth. Age has nothing to do with it, there are 80 year olds that never found out. But if you have ever asked God anything, ask him that question and don't stop until you have an answer, so that you won't waste another 30 years.
Lisa Cox
09/17/09
Very good article...I dont agree with the previous comment..Sometimes our life even as Christians seems so unimportant as well as our purpose when there is so much need out there, but then we can have that glorious truth penetrate our spirits if we'll allow that in our smallness we see that God doesn't really need us, but He truly wants us, our purpose comes second. I think your main character had that glorious revelation! Well done!
Daragra Burma(phonekyaw)
09/18/09
I FELT FROM YOUR WORDS AND TESTIFIED ME THAT YOU ARE FREE FROM FEAR AT THE END OF YOUR MESSAGE!
THAT IS TRUTH!
OUR LIFE, ACTUALLY, IS NOT TO BE YOUNG, OLD AND DIE. BECAUSE, THE LIFE IN OUR BODY IS GOD'S HOLY SPIRIT. THAT LIFE IS LIVING FOREVER WITH GOD. WHATEVER OUR BODIES BEING IN YOUNG OR OLD, GOD LOVE US AND GOD VALUE US AS HIS LIFE. BECAUSE, NO BEING FOR OLD AND DIE IN GOD. WE ARE ACTUALLY CAME FROM GOD BY CHRIST AS TRUE LIVING LIFE IN BODY GOD FORMED.
THEREFORE, GOD'S SON IS GOD'S TABERNACLE AND HE IS IN THERE.
SO,
WE ARE ALL FREE FROM FEAR !

THANKS FOR YOUR PRECIOUS WORDS INDEED!
GOD BLESSED YOU!
WITH LOVE OF MY LORD,GOD.
DARAGRA


Paul Potenza
09/18/09
Great story. I learned the lesson long ago. I'll be 54 in the next few months, and recently lost my job. My mom is in her 80's and having a miserable time. Me? I'm having a great time and I thank God every day for all the good things He gives me.
Shilo Goodson
09/21/09
I definately can feel for your MC. I hit about 24, and I didn't want to be reminded that I was getting older. There were goals that I had hoped to achieve by that point in my life, and I had not yet achieved them. Yet, I think the realization that our will is not always God's will for our life is a great discovery. Matching our will with the Father's is the key to happiness in life.