The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/09/05
Having been in the service I know that during training the idea of retreat is hard to realize. But for another that may be a great place, and you used it well. The description makes one hunger for such a place. Great going !
08/10/05
As a former Navy wife, I know the life! Well-written. Would like to see it re-written without so many 'was' words. IMHO
08/11/05
Good comment on a retreat can be anywhere. My opinion - drop the last paragraph and the essay is stronger - the message is there without the imperative.
This sequence is good to remember: "All of life is a process - first the peace and reflection, then preparation and then the “going through it.”