The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
I see a subtle reference to the topic here. Nice narration of an old Bible truth.
I love the way you describe the familiar story from a different POV--it reads like a movie!
Enjoyed the voice of this. I was engaged throughout.
What a wonderful and unique POV!

There's a clump of dialogue near the end that needs to be separated by spaces...and I'm not sure where the topic is.

I love that you created this very likely character, and told a familiar story through fresh eyes.
I like the title and an interesting take on topic. Overall good writing, good job.
I really, REALLY enjoyed this. I wasn't sure if this was a specific apostle, though, or one of the crowd who followed Jesus around. This may require some Bible reading/research on my part.

I suppose it's a compliment to your story, in a way. I would be thrilled if someone's first reaction to anything I wrote would be to comment and then whip out a Bible. :D