The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
09/16/07
Excellent writing skills--I wanted more.

I'm not sure how strong this was on the topic of "surprised," but it was a very good read.
A good story, but I can't say I felt very surprised. Well done.
09/18/07
You had a good feel for his despair, and I wanted more, too. His name, and more of his history, perhaps. I wanted to be able to empathize more with him and couldn't because I didn't know him well enough.