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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Surprised (09/06/07)
Deep Woods

It was a cloudy disconnected morn in the deep woods of northern Minnesota where he sat impatiently contemplating the coldness not of the morn, but of life in general. The preceding months had left alone in his self pity. His life seemed to drag by as contemplated the options that spread themselves out before him. Those that he called friends were gone in their own directions and he was alone with the one person that he dreaded to be with the most.
The voices clamored and screamed from within as he sat upon his half frozen wooden throne that brought nothing but a subtle agreement that the end would be best if it were chosen. The incredulous voice rang out with anticipation and finality, “you have nothing left to live for. Nothing at all, life would be better finished and you would have no more pain. Do it.”
As he sat with the hammer of his rifle pulled into the firing position and his head upon the barrel, the fog within him grew deeper and the coldness of the morning swept through his body as another part of him looked inward for another form of solace.
Through the ever thickening fog a voice that seemed long forgotten and distant calmly came forth, “Give me a fair chance, one fair chance.”
The other voice screamed forth, “pull the trigger, end it now! You don’t need this.”
The pleas for permanent escape slowly drifted away as he slowly lowered the barrel and reset the hammer on his riffle as the truth of the lie that he had been living set in. And the truth of God’s presence slowly replaced the lies of self pity and despair subsided as he chose to follow and give God a fair chance at his life.
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This article has been read 753 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Jan Ackerson
09/16/07
Excellent writing skills--I wanted more.

I'm not sure how strong this was on the topic of "surprised," but it was a very good read.
christine bastow
09/18/07
A good story, but I can't say I felt very surprised. Well done.
JoAnne Potter
09/18/07
You had a good feel for his despair, and I wanted more, too. His name, and more of his history, perhaps. I wanted to be able to empathize more with him and couldn't because I didn't know him well enough.