The Official Writing Challenge
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A nice retelling of a classic. I liked the lesson at the end. My kids have trouble accepting responsibility, so I really liked this part. I think there were some words that might be too big for a children's story: methodical, renowned, foregone, humiliate, etc.
A nice retelling of this familiar story. I liked some of the added detail you put in.
This is quite an expansion of the "tortoise and the hare". While I was reading it your description of the hare reminded me of another proverb "Don't count your chicken's before they're hatched."

The Tortise and the Hare is actually a good lesson for all ages.