The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Wow, I sure wasn't expecting that ending!

This reads like a movie--well done.
This is very well written. I'm not into enjoying such, but that doesn't take away from the craftmanship here.
Loved the action and suspense here and surprise ending. One suggestion: the phrase "I care, because . . ." has a very modern day ring to it. Not sure when you're wanting this to take place, but when the characters spoke I got a feeling of present day slang, which might not be appropriate if this happened long ago. Just a thought for you. Otherwise, this was a very enjoyable read. I loved it.
Great sense of place. Fascinating, and I loved your ending.
What an awesome story foreshadowing the empty tomb of the Greatest One of all! Well thought through. So well written!
An enjoyable read. Good sense of place and characterisation with convincing dialogue. Just one comment on dialogue tags: 'he snapped at her.' You don't need to write 'at her' because the reader knows who is being addressed. Well done in placing second in Level 2.
yeggy from Darwin.