The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
04/26/05
Beautifully written.
The shift between light and lengthening shadows and painful answers is so believable.
This article couldn't have come at a better time - dealing with a loss in the family myself. We really do need to be thankful for the moments that we do have with those we love.
05/01/05
A compact and passionately told story. It reminds me of how important it is to store God’s word in my heart. A realistic slice of life, compelling with a gut wrenching end. How can you improve this? Avoid dialogue tags (minister explained) the tone and sense of the sentence is in the dialogue. Give Patrice a new line with ‘Patrice spoke clearly…’ There was much for which to be thankful is bit clumsy. There was much to be thankful for… When someone repeats something or returns somewhere you can get away without saying ‘again’ the reader knows they’ve been there before. Oh, and there was the sentence that began with a preposition… Just iddy biddy things. Don’t let them discourage you. This was a great read.
05/02/05
Suzanne, Congratulaions. This definitely deserved to win. I loved the way you traced the memorable moments of her life and interlaced the life verse. Great job!
Yay Suzanne! :)

This was one of my favorite stories of the week. I was judging and couldn't comment until now. I had no idea it was yours until now. I'm so, so happy for you! Delightful story, beautifully written. Congratulations on a well-deserved win!
05/02/05
Suzanne,
Wonderful entry - so deserving of its place with the editors! So many people misread that verse to say be thankful FOR everything instead of IN everything - big difference!
Great take on "Thanksgiving."
Love, Lynda
05/03/05
A very good piece on the uncertainty of life. I enjoyed reading it and could relate to Patrice's experience of being on the mountain top and then down in the valley. Well written.
05/04/05
This was wonderful Suzanne. In all things....
05/04/05
Woo hoo Suzanne! Congratulations on your 5th place in the Editors' Choice AND 1st place in the Level 2 Champion Challenge. Well done! Time to move up to Level 3. You are ready for it. With love, Deb
This was wonderful. I loved the way you woved the scripture in good times and in bad. I felt Patrice's happiness as a child and as a young bride and mom. Then I sensed the torture our souls go through in life's devastating occurrences. When you described her in her jeans and worn t-shirt, which are usual comfort clothing, you managed to paint a bleak picture. But you ended with hope. And although it ended with a loved one in a coffin, there is always hope. Wonderfully written, certainly worthy of its placement.
Oops! I meant "wove" not "woved".
05/10/05
Well done and congratulations on being an award winning (and soon to be published) author! This piece is very worthy: nice and descriptive but you keep it moving and having the same verse like a thread throughout helps to join it all together. The verse and the meaning behind this one is really challening to me at the moment - as I guess the problem of pain is to every person who has ever lived. Well done!