The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1229 times
Member Comments
Ahhh, this one made me cry. It brought back memories of my early married life. It shows how simple things can bring you joy. One doesn't need money in order to have romace, love, happiness. NOT AT ALL. Beautiful writing, beautiful memory!
This was so very lovely. I loved the progression of her inner thoughts that "cooked" just like her dinner. Very good job integrating the two. Nicely done.
This was so sweet. I love how you showed her dependence on God. Life is what we make it. Great job.
This was a tender story, showing how our heavenly Father ministers to our everyday needs.
I enjoyed and appreciated the message.
The lessons our parents teach us can make a deep impression on our lives. I like the way you came out of your despondency on hearing the sparrow sing and how it tied in with what your mother taught you and the change that came over you. You brought all this out very nicely in your writing.
I love this story, and I really love the ending. Great job!
Delightful - I really enjoyed all the little details - made it feel very authentic.
Absolutely brought back memories of Miss P's and my first apartment 2 rooms and a bath, temporary quarters, but it was ours for a short time and like so many, we made the best of it with what we had. Well done, thank you.
A most enjoyable read, I loved the MC, though it seemed a little confusing in the beginning. The end was my favorite when she decided the make the best of things and set about with what she had, loved how you wove the song and sparrow into the story!
Sweet story, and the upturned milk crate made me laugh :) To make this more alive, see if you can take the list of things she did with the dinner and turn them into what she can see through her eyes, or how she reacts to them, i.e. instead of talking about waiting for the water to boil, talk about her eyes waiting for the steam to curl above the pot's rim. Instead of saying that she put two glass holders on the table, say that the glass holders shone in soft reflection of the lighted emergency candles' that they cradled. It helps us to see rather than be told. :)