The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/26/06
I like this--it doesn't pull any punches--but I think your conclusion needs to be more fully articulated. The writing is excellent.
08/29/06
I enjoyed this story. You have a lot to say. You probably could have elaborated on several aspects of this. I would suggest breaking the last paragraph into 3 paragraphs. Very good writing. And...thank you for serving. My husband is a sailor, too.