The Official Writing Challenge
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05/18/06
This is great writing - are you sure you are in the right level!
05/19/06
This is just wonderful! A great story and no technical flaws to correct that I can see. God bless your writing!
05/21/06
Flows well. The contrast between the two characters works. Convincing dialogue. A hint on formatting: Paragraph 2 give each charater their own line when they speak.
05/22/06
i agree with "are you sure your in the right level" but there is one thing what happens to old man johnson. does he accept christ or just putthe bible on a shelf or something?
05/23/06
This is a very good article. it shows the imward change definitely brings about an outward change. It also points out how important our actions are to those who are watching.
05/23/06
This might be more compelling if written from the old man's POV, so that we understand better what his mind-set is and why he's so bitter. In other words, less narration, perhaps? Your other characters are endearing, and I like the lesson here, with the repeated Scripture.
05/23/06
Good characters with a good lesson. Try breaking up paragraphs for new speakers. A nice take on the verse :)