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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Lock (03/06/06)
"I can't give up," Lydia thought to herself.

"Yes you can," the voices sneered in her head.



Lydia was a quiet and shy girl. All her life everyone made the decisions for her. Even her parents told her which college to go to and that she had to major in law. She was so shy that she couldn't express her feelings or tell her parents her frustration and that she wanted to make her own decisions. She was locked in her own life, or rather…the life her parents locked her into. Lydia thought her life was so bad because she couldn't make the decisions for herself…she was so upset and angry about it that she wanted to give up…and now she was locked into the voices in her head.



"You won't amount to anything…you should just give up…it's what you do best," the voices continued.



"No…I can't…NO!" Lydia screamed.



"Yes. You can do it…c'mon you can give up. You know you want to," urged the voices.



"No…" cried Lydia. She couldn't take it anymore; she was down on her hands and knees crying her eyes out. "Why do I have to be locked into this life? Why can't I be someone else?" she questioned out loud.



"Because you are a failure!" the voices wouldn't let up.



Lydia was getting angry now. "No I'm not! I can do it. JUST GO AWAY!" she screamed. "I'm not going to let you win. I am going to come out the victor in this," she promised.



She stood up on her feet and said screamed "I will fight this. I will break free."



Lydia stood there and felt relieved. No voices…
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Jan Ackerson
03/13/06
You have conveyed Lydia's despair very effectively. It appears that she was able to "break free" purely on her own power--I was thinking that she'd call on God to free her.

Very good title.
Patricia Charlton
03/13/06
I agree with the first comment abut Lydia. However, more clarity on the voices would be help. That clarity would make this astronger piece. A good job on Lydia's character. Keep writing for Jesus!
Karen Rice
03/14/06
I like Lydia's character enough to want to see more of a conflict by example. Maybe 'showing' a conflict with her parents regarding school choices instead of just saying what it is, or maybe a stubborness within her to keep her under her parent's 'directives'. Lydia might even be kinda fun to bring back and develop in other prompts...

Good writing!
Valora Otis
03/14/06
This is a fine example of how, 'self talk matters' in life. I feel abuse and control in this piece. Abusive parents say things like, 'you'll never amount to much.' Rising above that voice in your head is a huge stepping stone to greater things in life. It allows you to open yourself up to the knowledge that you are a child of God. Well done!
Virginia Gorg
03/16/06
I agree with comments re: needing Jesus in this. However, that could be chapter two .. when she realizes Who helped her overcome. :) Nicely done overall
Jessica Schmit
03/17/06
Nice job portraying the struggle!