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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: GREEN (01/19/17)
When I see green grass, and green leaves on trees in the summer time then that tells me that we live on God's green earth. If we all try to keep the grounds clean by picking up any debris off the ground then the the grass will remain green. Sometimes dirt can destroy the grass, which can turn yellow.



When Autumn comes the leaves change color which makes the trees look beautiful. When winter comes the leaves are gone. The only trees that are green are the spruce, and pine trees. A lot of people like to chop down some of those trees for Christmas to decorate in their homes.



When Spring comes, and the snow melts, we can see the grass again which will eventually turn green. It is up to all of us to keep the earth clean. If we all work together by recycling papers, and cans as well as not littering the grounds then the earth would be a lot cleaner.



A lot of the lakes are polluted, and they are not safe to swim in. A lot of the fish are dying, and something should be done by having less motor boats and jet skis on lakes. If people only used sail boats or canoes, then the water would likely be less polluted.
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This article has been read 481 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
C D Swanson 
01/26/17
Nice timely reminder for all of mankind to care and take special interest in caring for God's earth.

Good job,

Blessings~
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
01/26/17
You have some nice thoughts in here. You touch on a couple different meanings of the topic which is nice. I would urge you to expand on it. Tell what your are when you see the things you describe. Before you start to write (or when you start to edit), ask yourself what message you want to convey to your reader. Having a purpose for writing (in this case it could be praising God for the beauty or inspiring people to take care of the earth or even something as simple as making someone chuckle), will help your pieces have more substance.
I am happy you jumped in and entered, and I can feel a bit of passion in your words. Keep writing, and read and comment on entries from all levels as well.
Larry Whittington
01/27/17
You need a "topic sentence" that will guide you in writing about the general topic "green". A topic sentence will help you weed out sentences that don't fit what is being written about.

Were you writing about pollution of land, pollution of water, or that green grass and green leaves are proof of God's creation?

One thing that I liked is how you tried to use some computer code to get the color green to show up in the title of your piece.
Jason Barnett 
01/31/17
You are good writer...so I hope you take the above critiques to heart and use them to improve some of the fine details.

Also, I know the topic was green. But seeing the same word over and over again tends to weary the reader. Maybe use a thesaurus and find an alternate word. It would have the same description.

Great job, it is always important for us to reflect on the beauty and creativeness of God we find in nature.
Phillip Cimei
02/02/17
Like the sun ignites green in plants, good criticism will ignite great writing in those who have the passion to grow. Take in all you can. I sense your passion. I agree with the helpful pointers already mentioned. These same great writers inspired me when I started this great adventure. I look forward to future writings. The main thing is grab the reader's attention and make your point. God bless.
Trudy Newell
02/03/17
Good job. I agree with the comments that have been made.

You have great potential, and I look forward to reading future entries. Thanks for jumping right in. Writing can be scary, but it is also fun.

Have fun at FW with this great group of writing friends who will encourage you. I believe it is the best and safest place to grow as a writer.

Blessings - Trudy