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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: SLOTH (indolence; laziness) (01/29/15)
There was once a dim man called De Loaf
He's a loafer whose work's sort of loath
All his friends urged him on
He preferred to hang on
For he wished to live like a slow sloth

His wife Dally, unkempt, kept long nails
She just worked at the pace of the snails
Her teammates yelled Speed up
As she always held up
Please catch up! Tie your hair! Keep short nails

Their young son turned out just as bad
He would gibe, I don't care - a spoilt lad
When he worked he would slack
Mates wished him get the sack
When he quit they were awfully glad

We wish all rooms designed with a maid
We don't so much care what she is made
Do house chores--We detest!
Go berserk! --With no rest!
We’re worn out! Work's made us a dulled jade

Don’t sit in the slugs’ seat - it's unworthy
Do not live a sloth's life-it's so empty
Turn our thoughts from the strays
Keep in step with God's ways
Crown the Lord with our works Give Him glory

Give your best to the Master and follow
Christ's example in service and love
He was tempted like you
So he knows all your faults
He'll give mercy and grace to help you

What your battles and hassles He knows
God loves us more than we can imagine
He is faithful and kind
He can not be outshined
He will promise to help you till the end
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This article has been read 598 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Zacharia Fox
02/09/15
Good work! Glad to see u on faithwriters! I'm not much of a poet so take both my praise and critism with a grain of salt.

First, you nailed the topic! Great job. I love the way u arranged your stanzas. Unique for sure.

It could just be me bit I'd like to see the rhyming a bit tighter. You had a good pattern going and I was hoping to see it stay strong throughout.

Great job! Way to round it off with a lesson!
Allison Egley 
02/10/15
This is good.

I agree that some of the rhyming feels a bit off in places.

I love the lesson at the end.
Noel Mitaxa 
02/10/15
A clever limerick
That does the trick
Of nailing the topic
- Since you've tossed your brick!
Well done
My son...
Larry Whittington
02/11/15
I thought it was fairly easy to read. The flow was nice. I enjoyed the rhyming words even when they might not have been on similar lines.

The last line should read: He has promised to help you til the end.

Nicely done.