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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Winter (11/14/05)
Up on a mountain top a tree bears its soul to its creator.
Its leaves dicard themselves in a winter catacomb of eternity, envy pulsates through its veins.
How it longs to dissolve into the fathoms of deep peace, which have so gracefully embraced its frail leaves, freeing them from the strain of standing straight in its crooked world. The rising of the sun gives it no comfort,
Its heat like the stings of a thousand wasps.
It is the unwelcome dawn that forces it to yet again exist and witness crimes against a forgotten utopia it longs to dwell in.
All love is gone.
All light is gone.
There is no peace for the dying tree.
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This article has been read 806 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Nina Phillips
11/21/05
This was very interesting analagy. The wording drawed me to read on. Few typos..
Nicely done, God bless ya, littlelight
Jan Ackerson
11/21/05
This piece was very effective--it left me feeling bleak and cold, which is, I'm sure, what you intended. I think there could be some edits for word choice and line breaks, but it's a very powerful little word picture.
Helen Harris
11/22/05
I Like this. You got a Great title for this. I see the trees; they look dead, but most of them come back. It’s sort of like an Emily Dickinson’s write, and I like her poems.
Thank you for Sharing. God’s Blessing to you on the Win. Helen
Alexandra Wilkin
11/24/05
Helen beat me to the punch - Emily Dickinson was the first poet I was reminded of. Huge promise in this, I love the description and word analogy. God bless.