Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Wolf in Sheep's Clothing (11/21/13)
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TITLE: A New Dream | Previous Challenge Entry
By Barb Burke
11/27/13 -
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He was the big catch in high school. Her heart raced every time she caught a glimpse of him. And those moments when he flashed that dimpled smile; well, there was no denying she would do anything to be his.
Then Nick asked her out on a date. That first date she believed all her dreams would come true. Nick was fabulously handsome and adored by everyone. And she was the gal he had picked!
Oh, how she had been in love. All was perfect . . . until the changes started.
Their first real argument made her perfect little world spin. Nick’s anger smashed her as he spat hateful and degrading words in her face. She could not believe this was her Nick, the center of her world.
Nick stormed away with friends to attend a senior’s party. He called Amy the next day, jabbering with a hung-over stupor and gushing apologies and declarations of love. Amy was so relieved at his sincere promises that he would never hurt her like that again. After graduation, she eagerly moved into a shabby downtown apartment with him. It didn’t matter where they lived because Nick loved her.
But tonight, as she sat alone on the couch, Amy realized she didn’t know when it was she lost count of the arguments. Nick was not the answer to all her dreams, but the instigator of her nightmares. He may have been the school heart throb, but he was just a wolf in sheep’s clothing. And she was his prey.
With shaking hands, she picked up the phone. It had been awhile since she last spoke to her mother. Amy knew she pushed her mom away because she couldn’t admit she had been wrong about Nick. But that didn’t matter now.
“Hello?” Amy’s breath caught at the sound of her mother’s voice. “Amy? Is that you honey?” Hot tears rolled down her cheeks.
“Mom, can I come home?”
“Of course honey, I’ll come get you.” Amy could hear the worry in her mother’s voice. But she also could feel the unconditional love. “I’ll be right there. And Amy?”
A choked whisper was all Amy could muster. “Yea?”
“I love you, no matter what. I’m on my way. It will be OK; we’ll work it out together.”
Amy hung up the phone and waited. Her mind drifted again to memories of a happy time before Nick. Sunday mornings were her favorite. There was always a huge breakfast on the table and everyone laughed while they ate. Then they would spend the rest of the morning at the small church near the corner of town. Many times her parents would invite someone to come over for lunch. They always said so many people needed to know they were loved.
There were many times her mom spoke to her about God. “Do you know how much God loves you?” she would ask. Despite her mother’s constant encouragement, Amy could never really grasp that someone as lowly as herself meant anything to God.
Amy stood and started gathering things in a small, ragged duffle bag. There wasn’t much she wanted to take with her. She went downstairs and sat on the steps to wait for her mother. Her mom was usually right about everything. Maybe she was right about God’s love as well. Sitting on the cold stone steps, hope began to flicker somewhere deep inside her.
A smile appeared on Amy’s face and her dead eyes filled with life. Her mother’s blue Jetta stopped in front of her building and honked. Amy picked up her duffle and walked toward the car, toward home. No more disguised wolves for her. Yes, maybe her mom was right about God’s love after all!
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In the middle you did a good job of using dialog to enhance your characters. I am guessing the word limit stopped you from doing that with the boyfriend too. If you could fit it in, it would bring him to life more.
You nailed the topic. In fact you did such a fantastic job that you didn't need to even mention the words sheep and wolf. Your ending was strong too. It summed up the message and left me with a warm feeling.