The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/08/13
This was a very interesting way to present the topic. Nicely done. God bless~
This is definitely a different take on the topic than other stories this week. You certainly were spot on the topic. You show how important it is to work together and even showed in the Bible where God encourages us to work together and have a proper attitude.

There were some punctuation errors that made it difficult to follow at times, especially with quotation marks.A good idea is to include some action and show the reader the personalities of the characters as they react to their assigned chores. That will help to draw the reader in.

I do think you picked some lovely scripture to go along with your idea. They seem to go along nicely with your intended message. Keep writing the words God places on your heart.