Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Funny (10/04/12)
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TITLE: So, you think that's Funny ? Huh! | Previous Challenge Entry
By Maurice Armstrong
10/10/12 -
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She was walking rather cautiously, as though not to lift her feet too high or to make too big a stride. She was either having some sort of problem with her feet or her shoe heels were broken; but it was obvious she was in excruciating discomfort.
She appeared to be somewhere in her late sixties or early seventies. She was well-dressed; her hair nicely done with curls hanging at shoulder length. She had gotten through the door, when her twin sister, on seeing her coming out, hastily began ascending the steps to assist her down.
Missy, as she was called, had stayed on the outside smoking a cigarette. She was about half-way up, when she tripped, lost her balance and hitting her head against the rails; she fell and rolled down the steps. On seeing the plight of her sister, Mindy cried out as loud as she possibly could.
As she stood there screaming, I swiftly turned around, to see a woman lying at the bottom of the stairs. She was not moving. Instantly I ran over to the fallen woman, but before I could get to her, the security officer at the desk was already in attendance. She saw the entire event as it unfolded and had already dialed 911.
Within a few minutes a small crowed was gathered around to see what was going on. As the ambulance arrived, the paramedics at once took charge of the situation. After checking her vital signs and wiping the blood from her face, they proceeded to secure her unto a stretcher. Just as they were about to roll her away she regained consciousness.
Still dazed and confused, she whispered “Where’s my sis …”? The attending medic then asked loudly. “Is anyone here related to this person” Mindy replied, “I’m her sister.” “Is she okay”?
Mindy safely made it to the bottom of the steps with the help of the well- trained security officer. Officer Santana had kept a watchful eye on the whole situation.
But then, as if they were filming a movie, these two young ladies appeared with their smart-phones “capturing” the moment. With humorous excitement, they both repeatedly announced, “It was so funny!” The other girl echoed, “That was so … funny!” With giggles, foolish mimicking and hypnotic gestures, they rehearsed what they had seen.
For a moment I listened, so as to get their version of what had transpired, and then I punctuated their interpretation with these words;”NOW, WHAT’S SO FUNNY ABOUT THAT?”
Embarrassed and ashamed, to be at the center of everyone’s attention, they became very quiet. Then, mumbling a few words to each other they turned around and went about their business
We all face our moments of Up’s and Down’s. Very often how we respond to others in their time of need will determine how others deal with us in our trials. The Golden rule still stand’s true today: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
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Good story and God bless you.
Great job with this. Excellent and cleverly crafted going the "other way" with the topic. I thought this was excellent.
Thank you and God Bless~
You use the word was quite a bit which creates passive sentences. Instead try to replace them with active verbs. For example instead of She was not moving try something like She crumpled into a heap at the bottom of the steps, not moving a muscle. I also noted that you put 's for ups and downs but because you were making them plural it doesn't use an apostrophe.
I think you did a nice job of telling a story and I know many people will be able to relate to it. It does make one stop and think about what is happening in the world around us and that is always a good thing.
This is an engaging piece with a valuable lesson. Did that incident really happen or is it a fiction piece?