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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Autumn/Fall (08/27/09)
Leaves floating down from the trees like parachutes in the wind. I watch hues of golden yellow, red, brown and green, gently forming a carpet on the ground. When disturbed it makes a crunching sound.
Autumn is here, changing the colour of the landscape. Here in the South African Natal Midlands where I live, a kaleidoscope of pretty purple, pink and white cosmos line our country roads. A sea of white Arum lilies covers some valleys. The hills begin to change from green to gold. The days are warm and at night a chill begins to fill the air. The sky is blue and clear as the summer rains disappear. The pineapple Sage in my garden is in full bloom, with its bright red trumpet shaped flowers and a sweet pineapple scent. I watch the little sunbirds from my kitchen window as they drink the nectar and I am in awe of creation.
God, the master artist has changed the landscape once again. He used the warm colours of autumn and a splash of pink and white, just because He felt like it. What a perfect painting He paints, with colours so vibrant and alive. When the seasons change He takes out a new colour palette and begins all over again.
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Joanne Sher 
09/06/09
Your descriptions are just lovely. I could see just what you were seeing.
Corinne Smelker 
09/18/09
Nicole, I believe this was your first entry for the challenge? Well written, and certainly bought back a lot of memories for me (for anyone else reading this, Nicole and I have known each other 25 years!)

But the reason it received so few comments, and probably did not score too high with the judges (I am assuming as I am not privy to the scores) was a couple of things - it was almost too literal in application. If you check out the masters you will see they incorporate the theme into the story, they seldom make it the story.

Also, although it was well written, it was not expansive enough - it described God's painting, but that was it - it didn't move us, it seemed not to move you either. Perhaps if you had written a story about going out in God's Painting because you were jubilant about an event, or were grieving, and being in the autumn leaves made you closer to God. In other words, take it one step further.