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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: It’s Christmas Day (in the present or living memory) (11/27/08)
Grace's Gift for Jesus

“Its Christmas Day, it's Christmas Day,” shouted 6 year old Grace, as she danced around the Christmas tree.
“ OK, calm down, laughed Father as he walked into the room, we have a lot of walk to do before Grandma, Grandpa and Aunt Mary arrive.”
“Oh, I can hardly wait, I have a special gift for Jesus.”
“Good” said father.
“Grace, I need some help making sugar cookies,” called Mother from the kitchen. Grace ran into the kitchen almost colliding with her mother.
“Mmm I love sugar cookies,” said Grace as she stopped to catch her breath.
“Then we should be done in no time,” smiled Mother. They began mixing the ingredients and flouring the cookie cutters. After the third batch of cookies the door bell rang.
“May I answer that,” asked Grace who was already out of the kitchen. “Yes,” called mother after her.
“Hello,” said Grace as she opened the door.
“Hi,” said Grandma.
“Would you please help us carry in these packages,” asked Aunt Mary.
“Yes,” said Grace. When all the packages had been brought in Grace returned to the kitchen.
“Do you need any more help Mother,” asked Grace.
“Aunt Mary will help me now,” replied Mother, you go and spend some time with Grandma and Grandpa.”
“Okay,” said Grace as she left the room. Grandma was busy arranging gifts under the tree, so Grace sat down by her Grandpa.
“What’s this I hear about a Christmas gift for Jesus?” asked Grandpa.
“I cant tell you, it’s a secret,” replied Grace. Grace's Father walked into the room.
“When are we going to open the presents?” questioned Grace.
“When your Mother and Aunt Mary finish baking the cookies,” replied father. Looking at the brightly wrapped packages under the tree Grace thought about her gift.
“Time to open presents,” said Mother as she and Aunt Mary walked into the room. Father and Grace passed out presents.
“I don’t see your gift for Jesus,” said Father. Grace giggled,
“Of course not, my gift for Jesus is my heart, I want to have Jesus come into my heart.”
“Well I’d say that’s the best gift to give,” said Grandpa. Father prayed with Grace.
“I feel really good,” said Grace when they were finished, this is my best Christmas ever.”
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Jan Ackerson
12/04/08
What a wonderful Christmas scene!

In a story with as much dialogue as this one, you want to vary it some, so your reader doesn't start to skim. Think about putting the tag before the dialogue, or leaving it off altogether, or using descriptions of action instead of dialogue tags. There's a class on writing dialogue in the Message Boards forum...check it out, if you think it might help!

I hope to see much more of your writing in this Challenge over the coming months.