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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Charade (08/14/08)
With downcast eyes he slowly walked
unknown, unseen by most.
Passing through the densest crowd,
a shadow, vapor, a ghost.

The pain in his soul cut deeper each day
though the blood could never be seen.
For the stains were cleverly hidden behind
his clothes, fresh-pressed and clean.

His painful self, always hidden from view
even close friends couldn’t see
the darkened truth haunting each hour,
like chains he couldn’t break free.

For the man with the downcast eyes and face
daily hid behind a happy mask.
And he wouldn’t risk sharing his inner pain,
there was really no need to ask.

But to all who knew him, his heart was light
and all was well, always well.
And when he caught the eyes of passersby,
no one could ever tell

that a hidden pain was winning
and draining his life away.
Until one afternoon in winter
on a cold and cloudy day

when he took some pills and vodka
and then he was gently laid
in a shiny box, with a fresh-pressed suit
and ended the charade.
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This article has been read 656 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Racheal Chand
08/21/08
Very sad. It shows that we are all at times in automode. Saying the right things and doing the right things. Take time each day to ask for Jesus' eyes, in order to see the truly hurting people. Good job. You touched a very hard topic with smoothness and creativity.
Sara Harricharan
08/21/08
How tragic! You capture this just wonderfully, the last verse shows just how sad, but sort of ironic, how it all played out. Thanks for sharing this! ^_^
Leah Nichols 
08/21/08
You captured my attention throughout the entire piece. It is well put together, and very poignant. Great job!
Joy Faire Stewart
08/23/08
Very creative and well written with a very sad ending.
Jan Ackerson
08/23/08
What a zinger at the end! I wasn't expecting it, but when I got there, it reminded me very much of Edward A. Robinson's "Richard Cory". Check it out sometime!

Consider a different title--this one projects your ending, which you want to be a surprise.

Nice job.
Janice Wood
08/27/08
Well done! You painted the sorrow and despair this poor man struggled with well.