The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/02/08
Beautiful...funny... touching! I loved how you interspersed the hymns and the reference of your grandmother in there, too.
Great writing.
This was really good. How many mothers, or women in general, can relate to those awful hot flashes. Really nice entry and loved the message. When we can't pray, He will pray for us. Liked the touch of humor, too.
Carole, your entry was very different and very, very good. You had me believing it could very well have been a true account.

I loved the little touches of humor with the “As pants the hart for cooling streams, When heated in the chase.” I'm sure God makes use of our sense of humor at these times.

You've done a wonderful job with the topic. Well done!!



05/07/08
I really enjoyed this unusual way to approach the topic! :) I could feel the poor mother's heat, and I laughed at the daughter's choice of a couple hymns! What a good girl she was, though, to play for her mom!
Good job on this piece!
Unique approach to the topic. Your story line flows smoothly. Really nice writing. :)
You did this well, I could feel for the mother and so glad the daughter could see past her own self to help in the middle of the night.

Keep up the good words.
Your writing is very realistic and love the sprinkles of humor. Creative writing on topic.
05/07/08
This is very funny...my sister will be getting this link! Thanks!
Heehee! I liked the humor here between mother and daughter. Especially how the 'joke' was played with songs from the grandmother's hymnal! Wonderfully done! ^_^
05/07/08
Delightful, fun, and sweet. Enjoyed this very much.
05/07/08
The words of hymns can almost speak to me as much as Scripture can, so I loved this!

Be careful of switching tenses--you went from past to present and back several times. A piece like this works best in past tense, in my opinion.

I love the relationship depicted here--very sweet.