Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of “A Bird in the Hand is Worth Two in the Bush” (without using the actual phrase or literal example). (01/10/08)
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TITLE: It Takes One Good Man | Previous Challenge Entry
By Mary Lisa
01/15/08 -
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That was true until a week ago when the doctor shook her world. He said she must have a hysterectomy. The reality hit hard that she would get what she had always said she wanted or, in this case, didn’t want. It was final. Her choice in the matter was removed. There definitely would not be marriage or children.
She also realized that she had no one to rely on for help during her recovery from surgery. She had never felt so alone. She realized too late that she had lived for herself and that’s all she had.
Her dance buddies would find new dance partners. Chad, her spontaneous and fun-loving boyfriend, would continue to be irresponsible and incapable of helping her. Morris, her posh professional boyfriend who treated her to front row seats at the symphony, would be too busy with his high-class social events to nurse her back to health. She knew her friends would move on without her.
Then, she remembered Bob. The man whose proposal she had flippantly turned down six months ago. She had stopped seeing him soon afterwards but wondered if, for old times sake, he would be willing to help her. During the two years they dated, he had been kind and easygoing, and so innocently charming that he made her weak in the knees at times. She was completely comfortable with him. He had been through a messy divorce and, although there were no children, he had taken quite a financial hit. Because of his past, she was certain that he would never want to marry again and that fact, along with his dancing eyes and bright smile, made him very appealing.
Her trembling fingers misdialed the phone twice before she correctly punched in Bob’s phone number. If he was unwilling to help her, she didn’t know what she would do. She cleared her throat nervously and waited.
Then, she heard that familiar manly voice say “hello” and immediately felt a surge of warmth rush through her. How she had missed hearing that voice. Quickly, before she lost her nerve, she identified herself. Since he didn’t hang up on her, she felt encouraged to continue and briefly explained why she had called.
She could imagine his bright smile as he reassured her that they would always be friends and that he would be at her side as long as she needed him. She stammered to apologize for the months of silence but he shushed her by saying it wasn’t necessary. It was a short call and he hung up with a friendly, “See you later.”
Within 20 minutes, he was standing in her doorway. She looked into his eyes and saw love looking back at her. His broad smile flooded her soul with unfamiliar emotion as his dancing eyes explored her face. She questioned why she hadn’t realized before how desperately she loved this man.
He cautiously held out the ring that he had offered her before. The one she had refused to even acknowledge. And, for the first time in her life, she wanted to say yes. She longed to say yes to this man.
Instead she said, “Oh, no, I couldn’t marry you…or anyone. It wouldn’t be right. There would never be children.”
He pulled her close and covered her with his protective arms for the longest, sweetest moment. His tender embrace was a comfort that she had not known since they drifted apart. Then, he slowly slid his ring on her finger and said, “I have always loved you. I will always want to be married to you.”
With tears in her eyes, she whispered, “Me, too.” As he held her close, she felt loved beyond measure. She also allowed herself to love in return for the first time. God had sent her the man she needed most in her life and, although she had been too selfish to recognize it in the past, she vowed to always honor his love.
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It was also sad, that someone could be that alone.
A little more dialogue would help this come more alive.
Good writing. Keep it up.
Upon a second reading, it struck me that this is a beautiful allegory of a lost soul crying out to Jesus for help, and finding the ultimate bridegroom.