Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Write in the ADVENTURE genre (05/24/07)
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TITLE: Making It To The Top | Previous Challenge Entry
By Alfreda Byars
05/27/07 -
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I love Jess, but how did I ever let him talk me into this? Never in a million years could I ever imagine myself mountain climbing in Colorado on a mountain that peaks over 14,000’, but here I am. I have been climbing this mountain for sometime now, and it feels as though I have the weight of the whole world upon my shoulders.
We’re in the middle of March, and today seems to be the hardest. Yesterday, the sun was shinning so brilliantly, the evergreens were glistening and sparkling in the sunlight as if they were filled with ornaments. Some of the snow has begun to melt, causing small water falls to trickle down the side of the mountain. The water was as clear as crystal, and the rushing soothing sound of it made me drunk with sleep flooding my soul with peace and serenity.
But today, the climb is intense along with rugged but not solid rock. It’s nearly 10:30 a.m. and there seems to be a thick fog. I can barely see where I’m going. I’m moving now only by faith, trusting that the Lord will be my guide and direct me to a more sturdy ridge of rock.
I continued the climb battling chutes, weak ridges and strong rough winds enough to make you want to turn and give up. I stepped on a cluster of rocks that were not sound and it gave way. I felt around for strong rock to hold on to but failing, I slid a bit losing one of my gloves and scraping my hand against the rocks, I let go and as I began to fall, I yelled out, Jess! I was overcome with fear and Jess yelled back, “Don’t worry Babe, I got ya.” The jolt had nearly knocked the wind out of me. Thank God for the gear that Jess had put around my waist.
Jess held on to me until I was able to put my feet on solid ground again. Just a little bit further to go. The fog is completely gone and I can see my way clearly now. I looked up and saw Jess peering down at me yelling, “Come on Babe, you can make it.”
The smile on Jess’ face and the look in his eyes gave me courage to press onward.
Then finally, there I was pulling up on the last ridge, there were now good foot holds and ample hand holds. Out of breath, I reached my hand upward to Jess and he helped pull me over to the top. I rolled over on my back and gave out a great sigh of relief. I just laid there on my back looking upward at the sky, thinking silently, thank you Lord for making it to the top.
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A few small errors: shining/shinning and some time/sometime. Fix those, and a few punctuation errors, and you've got a great little piece to keep as a tribute to Jess and adventure.