Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Writing (01/11/07)
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TITLE: The Perfect Ending | Previous Challenge Entry
By naomi thomas
01/17/07 -
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“Susan honey wake up, you’re gonna be late again this morning. Wakie wakie sleepy head,” shouted gran.
“Mornin’ gran,” replied Susan stretching and yawing lazily. “Have I over slept again?” she asked, jumping out of bed and grabbing her jeans and sweater from the night stand.
“Third time this week sweetie. I told your gramps last night that you’re working far too hard. With all that college work plus the extra job you’ve taken at Mae’s Coffee shop, it’s far too much for a girl your age; you need some time to relax and enjoy yourself like a normal teenager.”
“I dreamt again of the awards last night gran,” Susan spoke excitedly reaching under her bed for her sandals then making a mad dash for the bathroom. “It’s the second time I’ve had the same dream gran. But every time they’re about to announce the winner, I wake up. What do you think that means gran, am I the winner?” she asked anxiously brushing her jet black hair and tying it back into a pony tail.
“What I think it means is that you need to be in bed before ten every night and get a decent nights sleep. Look how thin you are, you eat like a bird and sleep even less, it’s not good for you child.”
“I love you too gran but I must dash. I’m meeting Gerald at the library in ten minutes, bye gran love you,” and with that Susan ran down the steps two at a time kissing gramps on her way out.
“I can’t talk any sense into that child Thomas; maybe you need to have a go. I really think this writing thing will be the death of her, she‘s lost so much weight and has bags under her eyes. She’s far too young for that.”
“You worry too much Millie; Susan is a determined, intelligent, normal teenager. You know how much this scholarship means to her, and she’s working at Mae’s to earn extra money so that she can pay her traveling expenses when she wins. I’d say that’s pretty enterprising don’t you? This is a big moment in her life. I say we support her in all she is doing and if it doesn’t work out, well…we’re still here to pick her up.”
“I guess you’re right. I just wish she’d slow down a bit.”
Later that evening Susan sat at her computer putting the final touches to her article. All the entries were to be submitted by midday tomorrow and Susan hadn’t yet concluded her piece. Why couldn’t she conclude this piece? Why had she suddenly gone blank? Angry and frustrated with herself she wandered off to the kitchen in search of something hot to drink. What was wrong with her all of a sudden? Hot tears welled up in her eyes as she began to fill up the kettle. Maybe gran was right, maybe she needed to take a break, but how could she? Tomorrow was the deadline and she really needed to finish this tonight. Sobbing her heart out at the kitchen sink she didn’t hear gramps enter the kitchen.
“Hey sunshine what wrong?”
“Oh gramps, I’m so sorry to have woken you up, it’s just that I can’t find the perfect ending to my article. I’ve gone completely blank, why is this happening? I really need that scholarship.”
“There, there, precious, just take a deep breadth and lets discuss this hey! You remember when you were in grade six and you came home asking me how to end a special story you’d written, remember?” Susan nodded her head, “And what was my advice then?”
“Pray and ask God,” she whispered.
“And when you were in your second year at college and you had your first big assignment, you asked me what you should write about and what was my advice then?”
“Pray about it,” she whispered again.
“Well nothing’s changed honey, the same God who helped you then is waiting to help you again, but He wants you to ask Him. His hasn’t left you alone and He has great plans for you. Ask Him for your perfect ending. If there is anyone who is able to close a great story, it’s God, simply read Revelations. Now there’s a perfect ending if ever I read one,” and with that gramps turned on his heel and headed back upstairs.
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Work on run-on sentences and comma usage to give your stories additional polish.
Very nice concluding paragraph--the wisdom of the older generations is so precious.