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TRUST JESUS TODAY

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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Cross (as in the Cross of Christ) (08/17/06)
It’s sometimes satisfying to hold a grudge. Focusing on someone else takes the pressure off; when I look at myself, there’s so much to change. It’s much easier to expect the other person to change first.

According to an article I have read, it takes more facial muscles to smile than to frown. I tend to frown; it takes hard work to dwell on the positive.

Sometimes i brood over my early childhood years when acceptance and tolerance from others was a fleeting mirage, a passing fancy. As an adult able to think logically…rationally, I tell myself I can and should be sensible...that those things are behind me now.

Yet the negative images persist; they never quite go away.

“Don’t touch her! She has koodies!” Mocking voices and jeering smiles speak cruel unforgivable words. The adult in my head tells the child in me to be reasonable, that the past is in the past. But I can’t. “Will you be my friend?” The little girl with the blue eyes looks at me. She turns around and looks at her friends who shake their heads. She laughs and runs away.

It hurts to be rejected.

The adult in me smiles and hides the ache. Being big means hiding the little girl and her tears from other people.
The people around me join groups, volunteer and go to church. They touch without touching. From behind pretend faces that mask their real faces, they look at each other.

It was easier when I was little; I knew what was real. When I was small, the world looked bigger; today it looks smaller but I don’t feel bigger.

I’m tired from trying to think, to figure it all out. In my longing and searching I seem to have found a safe place to curl up in, a “secret place” where I can “rest” and find shelter from all that confounds, confuses and hurts me.

Like balm on a wound, the peace of the place soothes my upset mind. As I lay my head tiredly against the Master’s breast, He enfolds me with His love. The safety of the place releases my pent-up emotions as my heart beats faster and great cleansing sobs wrack my body and escape my lips.

More and more I realize Jesus, the Keeper of the Secret Place has designed me perfectly; with all my heart I want to relax in that knowledge and to live out His message of the gospel in the Bible…of the Cross and its power.

If others reject me; I am accepted in Him

If others judge me, I am accepted by Him.

If I’m imperfect, He accepts me.

With my mind I will learn, with my heart I will trust, with my mouth I will smile.
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Sandra Petersen
08/25/06
This is a beautiful affirmation for anyone who continues to feel battered by rejection.

"The adult in me smiles and hides the ache. Being big means hiding the little girl and her tears from other people." This statement is so sad, and yet is so true for many Christians.

Your concluding paragraphs in which you describe that 'Secret Place' of peace are reassuring and comforting and these sentences ("If others reject me; I am accepted in Him. If others judge me, I am accepted by Him. If I’m imperfect, He accepts me. With my mind I will learn, with my heart I will trust, with my mouth I will smile.") totally blow me away! Good job!
Brenda Kern 
08/29/06
You've got dialogue from two different speakers in the same paragraph--split it up into two different paragraphs.

Maybe you could mention the secret place again at the end, or even sharing it with others who carry pain...

Anyway, good internal dialogue and nicely written.
william price
08/30/06
Some of the lines you wrote were awesome!! No doubt you are a writer. Keep working on the mechanics though and learning. You can never stop learning and working to be better. I look forward to reading more from you. God bless.
Don Beers
12/17/06
There are gems here that need to be mined. Truths too precious to keep hidden. I see a heart for Him and as a result of that heart there is in it a heart for the down cast. I get the sense from your writing of the gift, the compassion, but its all so veiled. You do write a lot and I would suggest you pick one article, just one, and literally force yourself to re-write it beginning to end and determine beforehand that you will not use the same words again, except when absolutely necessary. Writing is a work-out and not for the faint of heart. I see that for you, writing is not a hobby, but a calling. I, for one, am convinced that you are to be about your Fathers business and that is writing.