The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Good stuff here. Very immersive and unique in wording and setting. The title could use some work, but other than that, a good piece.
Clever way to handle the theme. I'm glad there aren't any red cards out there too! Good work.
Intresting read, actually. I like this - could be a wave of the future? Some grammatical errors (a audio center should be an audio...). But overall thought-provoking.
This is a very creative piece of writing with good thinking behind it. Just as it is, this story could be a useful tool to "put the fear of God" in a reader's heart, because, even tho' it has a ring of sci-fi to it, the events don't seem beyond the realm of possibility. I liked your title, too.