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Topic: First (as in original) (01/10/05)
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TITLE: The one that started it all | Previous Challenge Entry
By Deborah Shipman
01/13/05 -
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I busied myself around the house trying to push this thought out of my head. Didn’t do one bit of good. The thought was there and it wasn’t going to leave. I continued to fight though, thinking that if I tried hard enough it would go away.
By Tuesday the battle had intensified between me and this desire to write. Yeah that’s right; it had turned into a desire, no longer a thought but now a desire growing stronger with each passing hour. Writing had never been something I had dreamed of or desired in the least so why would this be happening? I also struggled with dyslexia which made it a chore.
I had recently been doing a study on our thoughts. Finding out they can come from Jesus, the devil or our own selves I decided this had to be the devil. Where else could it come from? I knew I didn’t want to write and why would God want me to write. That wouldn’t make sense. I instantly started doing spiritual warfare. The devil was not going to torment me with something that I knew was not from God. I warfared hard yet it was to no avail. When it was all over, guess what, the desire to write was still there, stronger than ever.
I had put on my armor and fought the good fight. What was the problem? Was I not doing something right? Being a good warrior and not willing to let the devil win I decided to check out my instruction book, the bible, to find out what I might be doing wrong. I went straight to Ephesians for that is the book every good warrior knows to go when needing help on this subject. I knew the bible well so finding exactly where to go was easy, chapter 6 starting with verse 10 and reading thru to verse 18.
That was it. A light had come on as I was reading thru these verses. I was to stand. There it was right there in verse 13. I checked it out in several translations for I had more than one, being the excellent student of the bible I was.
Stand I did all thru Tuesday and by Wednesday I was worn out; mentally drained. How could this be? It just wasn’t making sense. I had to be missing something. There was this gnawing tug this could be God. Just maybe he might actually want me to write but I was not ready to hear that. I had not yet come to the end of myself. Ya know that willingness to “lean not to my own understand” as it says in proverbs. Quit trying to figure things out in myself and submit to the one who died for me. Actually let him be Lord over this situation. Those ideas were not yet what I wanted to hear. Fighting what I saw as the good fight of faith would continue one more day.
After one more day of “standing” I yielded to this desire to write. Thoughts were whirling around in my head as I set down with pin and paper to do what looked like a ridiculous and impossible task.
I saw all my English teachers standing there with hands on hips saying “What are you doing. You know you have no ability to write”.
As pin touched paper an amazing thing happened. Words began to come forth. I found myself writing a story about this ugly duckling named Julie who became a beautiful swan. Verses would come from the bible as this story was intricately woven by hands unseen.
I was humbled by this amazing act of love. I had been fighting something Jesus wanted me to do thinking it was the devil. He had lovingly taken me thru this walking me to the other side.
Jesus is so patient with us. He is that friend that sticks closer than a brother.
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It should be...I was sitting on the couch (not setting)....I put pen to paper (not pin to paper)
True words and well spoken...Just a thought..
You can use spell check on your PC it will help with spelling errors we sometimes miss.
Yeshua Bless
Norma
Blessings,
DeAnna