Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: At Wit’s End (02/13/14)
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TITLE: I Simply Lost My Way | Previous Challenge Entry
By Deborah Sampson
02/20/14 -
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But here I am now, and I do not have any answers for me. I feel so lost with no sense of direction in my life; it seems that I am at my wit’s end. Where do I go when I am so down and where I cannot even offer a prayer on my behalf, I cannot utter any words to God to offset this feeling. And to try and tell Him that I need help too.
I felt that my life had no direction and very little meaning. Did I do all of this on my own? Did I really believe what I said to all those people each time I stood before them? Did I tell them what I wanted them to hear but didn’t tell them what the Holy Spirit wanted me to tell them. Did I have works without faith during that time? Did I get caught up in my ways and what I wanted in my life that I just did it like clockwork?
It seemed as time went on that I got caught up in what I felt like I needed to do. I found myself not reading the Bible as I once did, or not praying as often as I did and what was worse I didn’t listen to the Holy Spirit as I did. I had lost my direction; my path was crowded with growth from my life that was not holy. I played the part of a follower of Jesus, but I had run out of spiritual steam. Faiths without works or works without faith do not do anything for anyone.
I had given my heart and life to God, at an early age. I knew the truth and I went about my life telling others about Him, but somewhere in the midst of things I strolled to the left or right of the path that God chose for me to follow, I was out of His Will and I felt myself floundering about as a fish does out of water. Now I just wanted to run away from everything.
Four months have passed since then, and I am happy to say that I am on my path again and yes it is thanks to my Lord and Savior. You see He put me flat on my back. I had no choice in the matter but during that time after I moaned and gowned for a while, I started talking to God, going over all that I had felt during that time and all that had happened to me. I laid it out before Him, knowing He already knew this, but I wanted Him to hear it from me. It hurts the Lord when one of His followers falters in their walk with Him.
He told me in His quite ways as I laid there that I just needed to come back to Him and let Him handle things. I prayed often during those days, and the peace that came over me was so awesome that I just wanted to stay there and bask in His presence. It is so true that God’s ways are not mine; you see my way let me down big time.
To be saved and have that eternal salvation freely given to us is a miracle and I don’t want to mess anything up anymore. If we do not totally give our hearts and mind to God, and rely on the Trinity to work in our lives we will never be happy or contented. We cannot serve two masters nor can God’s will work with our will, for we are of the flesh and our will must be submissive to our God at all times. Easy? NO! But it can be done.
Fiction-but it happens so often
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You wrote, "You see He put me flat on my back." Showing us how that happened would draw the reader into the story more.
I struggle with submitting my will to God's sometimes, but you are right--that is where we find true joy.
I look forward to reading more of your work!