The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
11/02/13
This is such a sad commentary, but a good emotional story. Your writing has a lot of potential!
You described the feelings well, but something we all struggle with is showing rather than telling (how your main character is feeling) Use her body positions, facial expressions, etc. Hope that helps a little. Cant wait to read your next piece! Keep up the great work!
11/02/13
You have revealed problems that often develop in relationships. I know God cares for the brokenhearted. Keep writing....
Wing His Words
11/04/13
Wow - this was a powerful and emotional story. It had an air of authenticity to it so I wasn't surprised at the end to learn it was true.

I'm so sorry for the MC being involved in a "tangle" of "emotional hostage" with a former friend. It can be draining, unsettling, and very frustrating. Often, the indivudual feels as if they've done something wrong to warrant the "change."

When these things happen, I feel that it's God calling you away, and protecting you from a particular scenario or indiviual. So, although it's painful most times it may be God warning us.

Your story was strong, moving, compelling and honest. Thank you for sharing it.

God Bless~
11/04/13
This is such a sad story....but very well written. I feel the narrator's hurt and betrayal. I was hoping for a happy ending but that's what happens in real life; it's not always a happy ending.