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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Thump (05/30/13)
You get used to it. Or do you? Every time the skies darken, you wonder if the storm clouds will spawn a tornado. You hear the weather people using words like vortex and wall cloud and "shelter in place."

Seventeen minutes. On this particular night, that's the time that passes between the time the first sirens sound and the time the tornado begins to rip through our town. Huddled in the closet, we hear thump after thump as the roof is blown off and debris starts flying.

People say it sounds like a freight train. But the truth is, it is more like the sound of a silent scream. The kind that happens when you are having a nightmare and you think you are screaming for help but no sound comes out of your throat. It is a deafening roar filled with a thousand silent screams. But then it is no longer silent as you realize people are screaming for real all around you.

Then, with one very loud last thump, an eerie silence emerges. It has been only five long mintues, but it seems like five hours. Five minutes is all it takes to destroy our little Oklahoma town. But with God's great mercy, we have survived. The staircase is the only thing left standing of our home. Our neighbors begin to climb out of their shelters. Unbelievably everyone in our neighborhood has made it through this time.

The rest of the country watches the scenes on TV in horror and disbelief. They ask: Will we rebuild our town? When we answer yes, they ask: Why? Our answer: This is our home. We are Oklahomans. We are survivors. And it is spring.
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This article has been read 374 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
06/09/13
You made a horrific event turn into something beautiful by the hope and faith at the end. The only red ink I have would be to keep the story in first person (I or we) instead of starting it with second person you. Just that tiny change will impact the reader all the more. I'm not sure if this is your true story, but I know it's someone's and your words made
me stop and pray for all of the someones out there. This is a intense well-written piece.
Sara Harricharan
06/10/13
Wow. Very powerful! I loved the imagery and the description of a tornado as a silent scream. I've never thought of it as that before.

You pack a lot into such a short space and it made it easy to read, without taking away from the depth or the message. Wow. Very, very well done. I loved your ending.

Yes. it is spring. and Godspeed to those who are rebuilding and those who are helping them to find the strength and courage to do so. This is probably one of my favorites this week. Thanks for sharing!
C D Swanson 
06/12/13
First of all,my heart goes out to your lovely state and all of the people who were affected by the horrific turn of events that transpired recently, and apparently still going on.

Your descrptive piece was masterful and depicted the scene so well, it's as if the reader was watching it unfold. Your story is powerfully executed and terrifying at once.

Praise the Lord for your survival, and your neighbors as well. Everytime I see that on the news my heart falls and breaks. Living on the east, we see a lot of hurricanes, and the occassional tornado. My family lost their home in the last storm, "Sandy." So, my heart understands your devastation. But, you survived, as did my family...and for that, we thank GOD.

Thank you for sharing, and may God continue to bless and hold you in his arms.

Blessings~
PamFord Davis 
06/12/13
Such a timely testimony. Thank you for sharing your emotional story of the Oklahoma devastation. A family from our church recently returned from OK ministry. God is there!

Wing His Words
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
06/14/13
Congratulations on ranking 7th in your level! (The highest rankings can be found on the message boards)